Recession Mama

{June 15, 2009}   Credit Check Before Saying “I Do” ???

By Katy

I know…this commercial is annoying.  But it really has a point.  Getting a credit check may save your marriage.

Now, back in the day, couples would have to get blood tests before they were legally married.  These days, you show up at city hall, hold up your right hand, sign a bunch of paperwork, and it’s, hopefully, till death do you part.  (Unless you’re of the same sex.  Then, you really don’t have that right pretty much anywhere in the U.S.)

I believe in knowing your partner’s credit score before you tie the knot.  I know it’s not romantic.  But I also think that two people can be in love and not necessarily get married.  Love doesn’t necessarily need to lead to marriage.  When you’re deciding on the rest of your life together, you have to think beyond love.  Love will hopefully help when you seem to hit rock bottom, and if you remember you once loved each other, it might carry you though immensely tough times.  And like I’ve said in a previous post, I also don’t think just having money is the answer either.  But before anyone gets married, shouldn’t there be a more stringent checklist?

Wants children?  Yes or No

Believes in God?  Yes or No

Sexually compatible?  Yes or No

Similar goals?  Yes or No

Long term ambitions?  Yes or No

Financially stable?  Yes or No

Credit score of 650 or above?  Yes or No

What do you think?

Heather B. says:

Katy I agree. Marriage is part romance and part partnership. You have to treat it like a business sometimes otherwise you’ll fail. I asked many of these questions before we got married. I didn’t ask my husband the last one, because he basically spelled it out for me. But I don’t think it’s a bad idea to know each other’s situation because once married it will be your “situation” too.

Katy says:

Yeah but what about the credit score? Is that important to know before you get married?

Lydia says:

Amen Katy and Heather! When you say “I do” it’s a bit too late to ask the important questions. I would add questions about faith and pets. Those two are really big ones for me. 😉 The bible wisely says not to be “unequally yolked”. It’s not fair to either person if one person is very committed to their faith and the other one isn’t, or is down right hostile to it. It will only become more of an issue the older you get. And I can guarantee, if he don’t love my cat, he’s outta here!

Katy says:

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that…I need to add…

Do you believe in God? (This is a big one for me too.)

Margaret says:

I would say that one of the important things to find out early on is the financial stability of your partner, not how much he/she makes, but are they responsible with what money they have. The other important thing to know is how similar your ideas are on money (how to spend it, how much gets saved, what is considered wasteful, etc.).

Scary subjects to delve into, but you don’t want to be saddled with unhappiness and resentment during what should be among the happiest moments of your life.

Katy says:

Definitely scary, but so important to know.

Heather says:

I think Katy that your fiance would be “ok” with giving you his credit score. But I agree with Margaret that it’s more important that your partner be responsible with the money they do have. People make mistakes with their money. That could be reflected in the score. But maybe they’ve learned their lesson.

Katy says:

LOL. I’m not talking about my fiance. I actually already know his credit score, and it’s really good. When I bought my loft, we both had our credit checked…but then decided it was better if I just bought the loft. (It was before we were engaged.) I’m just asking everyone in general. I’ve already covered the other topic of marriage and finances. This commercial just made me think about marriage and credit scores.

Carla says:

YES! Katy, I love the idea. I mean, you do take on your partner’s good or bad credit score and that sticks with you. It’s funny how we can be intimate with that person (or have crazy, monkey sex, whatever) yet have SUCH a hard time talking about finances with them. Or religion. Or any number of other topics that make us all nervous. So we need to have mandatory credit checks/scores and that all-important Marriage CEO, then life would be easy.

Katy says:

Yeah the Marriage CEO should come up with a list of other stuff too…oh wait…maybe that’s why I think pre-marital counseling is a good idea.

mary p says:

So true. I believe there should be a checklist before marriage, especially nowadays…i.e., past marriages, kids, bankruptcies, values, interests, levels of intellects, etc….
good post, Katy!

Katy says:

Thanks, Mary!

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