Recession Mama

{May 13, 2009}   The Super Sexy Recession List

BY: Heather

OK mamas and papas… popular guy magazine, Maxim, has revealed its annual “Hot 100 List.”

No surprise here, But I did not make the list AGAIN. (I’m so joking!)

For the clueless… here’s how the magazine describes itself: “covering sex, sports, beer, hot babes, gadgets, fitness, and other topics for men.”

The magazine’s “Hot 100 List” offers pictures and a brief description of really beautiful and often scantily clad girls. (but who cares unless you’re into that sort of thing, here’s the link if you are)

Anyway… the list made the wheels in my head start turning. I know it’s dangerous when this happens, but just put on your helmets because here we go.

I was thinking what if there were a “Hot 100 Recession List”?

Ok. So a tanking economy doesn’t seem very sexy… but we can pretend. Just for grins lets call it the “Super Sexy Recession List.” I personally don’t have time to think of 100. But here’s my top 5.

5. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac

These two used to look so good that we could sop “em up with a biscuit. Houses and kisses for anyone that applied! They were so adorable that everyone wanted to pat ’em on the head and squeeze their rosy little cheeks. But they’ve gone from cute and cuddly to total embarrassing mess.

Star equivalent: The Olsen Twins

Ashley Olsen and Mary Kate Olsen

4. Bailout Bill-

This bad boy looked pretty good at first and had some of us begging for more. But his quick and dirty ways soon left us feeling a little used. Wham, bam thank you ma’am. Now we need a trip to the free clinic.

Star equivalent: Motley Crue drummer, Tommy Lee


lindsay lo's mug shot

lindsay lo's mug shot

3. Hedge Funds-

These hot little numbers were popping up like reality TV and wildflowers in the Texas Hill Country. They were everywhere and making LOTS of money. But now they’re all dried up like a bad bag of potpourri stuck in the back of grandma’s closet.

Star equivalent: Lindsay Lohan and the cast of The Hills

"The Hills" girls

"The Hills" girls

2. Bernie Madoff- (famed Ponzi schemer)

This guy wasn’t easy on the eyes… but he was dynamite with the money. How else could he have gotten into to bed with so many Hollywood types? Such a smooth talker too. Charities, retirees, friends and family handed their money over with glee… only to be knocked out cold later.

Star equivalent- Mike Tyson


Brit's back, bitches.

Brit's back, bitches.

1. Wall Street-

This little temptress has been claiming victims for years. But she really got around in 2008. Everything was perfect for a while. But now she’s more unpredictable than a guerrilla on anti-depressants. Get involved if you dare.

Star equivalent- Britney Spears and Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse

There you have it… the top 5 of the “Super Sexy Recession List.” I don’t know about you, but it’s made me “hot and bothered.”

“Hot” as in “mad” and “bothered” as in “worried.” How did we get here gang? And when will we get back to the peachy keen days?

I need star equivalent- Doris Day and Jimmy Stewart

Doris Day and Jimmy Stewart

Doris Day and Jimmy Stewart


Carla says:

All so true. If only we could get turned on by this “sexy” list. Ugh, oh well. Maybe soon, though!

Katy says:

I think mortgage loan officers should go on the list, but maybe that doesn’t sound too sexy. We should definitely add to the list.

recessionmama says:

Yes. Some Mortgage loan officers = Count Dracula

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